I have seen written time after time “Don’t Be a VICTIM” on women’s self defence websites, on women self defense forums or a response to a partial naked women (commercial) using grappling to fight off intruders.
What does “don’t be a victim” mean? The saying “don’t be a victim” suggest that the victim has or had a choice.
Being a victim is NEVER a choice. You could have done everything right and unfortunately bad things do happen.
“Don’t be a victim ” is a subtle way of blaming the victim. If not being a victim includes, you trained in some sort martial arts, you would have your gi beside your shower, get out, put your gi top on and black belt, no time for pants and fight off home intruders with flying triangles, then ladies, we have been doing things all wrong.
I live, and train in a martial arts world. Martial arts is multidimensional and teaches you discipline, respect, striking, grappling, awareness, fitness, healthy lifestyle and self defence. I compete in Brazilian jiu-jitsu as a sport but I understand it’s value as self defence. The ground self-defence is what attracted me to BJJ in the first place.
I get it, you want to know how to defend yourself and also learn to avoid dangerous situation, you want to learn to have a fighting chance. Self defence for women is amazing and is highly encouraged, it builds confidence and strengths and increase the chance of avoiding or escape dangerous situations. However, “don’t be a victim” suggest you did something wrong if you are a victim.
Let’s put the choices and blame on the aggressor and not the victims: “don’t be a aggressor”.